Bizarre Polish Place Names

Ho, Indeed!

Ho, Indeed!

Inspired by several polls, lists and tables of ludicrous, embarrassing and rude English place names, I have decided to compile a similar list for Poland. However, before we get down to the polski equivalents, let’s delve into the most bizarre English ones I have been able to unearth. The Mirror and The Telegraph both have wonderful ‘top tens’ but my personal favourites, my top ten, if you like, has been put together using other lists, place name websites, and a host of other wonderfully funny sources. Here are my British favourites:
10. Zeal Monachorum, Exeter.
9. Burton-le-Coggles, near Grantham.
8. Durdle Door, Dorset.
7. Wide Open, Newcastle upon Tyne.
6. Wetwang, near Bridlington.
5. Bullyhole Bottom, Monmouthshire.
4. Cuckoo’s Knob, Wiltshire.
3. Cocklick End, Lancashire.
2. Loose Bottom, East Sussex.
1. Dancing Dicks, Essex.

Give It to Me Here

Give It to Me Here

Not sure that the Polish ones can match the British ones but let’s have a go. Many humourous British place names seem to revolve around the countless fun that can be had with sexual connotations – endless knobs, countless bottoms, the odd fanny and a splash of dick now and again make for japes all around. The funniest (or rather, strangest) Polish ones I have been able to find seem to revolve around odd word/phrase formations. I’ve also included my own personal gloss/translation of each place name just to help all of you non-Polish speaking souls. Here is the list (and just a sample of the fun you can have with place names):
10. Koce Schaby (Cat’s Chops), in the Province of Mazovia. 
9. Zgniłocha (Rottenness), Warmia-Mazuria.
8. Biały Kał (White Faeces), Lower Silesia.
7. Krzywe Kolano (Bent Knee), Kuyavia-Pomerania.
6. Koniemłoty (Horses’ Hammers), Świętokrzyskie Province.
5. Kukuryki (Cock-a-doodle-doos), Lublin Province.
4. Kłopoty Stanisławy (Stanisława’s Problems), Podlasie Province.
3. Młynek Nieśwniński (Small non-pig-like Mill), Wielkopolska.
2. Jęczydół (Moaning Pit), Western Pomerania.
1. Gnaty Wieśnaty (Bumpkin Bones), Mazovia.

There are, of course, countless others and this list could go on ad infinitum but that’s where I leave the rest to you. If you have any more interesting ones, please let me know. All of these place names have their etymological, geographical reasoning and it’s always interesting seeing new ones.

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8 Responses to Bizarre Polish Place Names

  1. Jim says:

    Żabia Wola is always a favourite, and there is a town called Sromów somewhere near Łódź (and a sign to ‘Muzeum Sromów’). Meanwhile, my hometown in England is not far from Tiddleywink or Okeford Fitzpaine (pronounced ‘fippeny ockford’, and Bill Bryson will tell you it’s true!). :)

  2. Erg says:

    What about Błoto Zgniłe – Rotten Mud

  3. Raf Uzar says:

    Ooh nice. Where exactly is ‘Błoto Zgniłe’?

  4. JAcek says:

    Koniec Świata – wielkopolskie/łódzkie – The End Of The World (look at his facebook page)
    Sworne Gacie – Fitted Pants
    Pupki (renamed Śmieszny Zakątek) – Asses renamed an Funny Corner – near Olsztyn

    Pomerania
    Zgon – The Death
    Babie Doły – Womens Pits

  5. JAcek says:

    Męcikał

  6. […] Bizarre Polish Place Names (uzar.wordpress.com) […]

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