Merry Cheesy Christmas

Christmas is upon us and it’s time to take some time out. I’m going to let you all into a secret. I’m an avid fan of bad music. Here’s an offering of some of my recent favourites.

A bluegrass cover of Pink Floyd’s Money:

Another bluegrass number, this time Iron Horse has a go at Metallica’s Nothing Else Matters:

It doesn’t stop there! the fun just keeps going on! This time with a bluegrass (oh yes, I love it) version of Van Halen’s Jump:

If you think that was cheesy then have a look at this baby. Queen’s Fat Bottomed Girls like you’ve never ever heard it before:

If that hasn’t got you on the floor with laughter then try Europe’s The Final Countdown performed on a Kazookeylele:

And to sum everything up, here’s one of the worst covers I’ve ever heard of REM’s Losing My Religion:

Don’t you just love cheesy music?! Enjoy!

Music for the Week

It’s summer, enough politicking. The weather’s picked up and it’s my birthday tomorrow so it’s now time to relax, take a step back and listen to some nice little tracks from a few of my favourite artists and a few more.

Pirate Song (sounding a lot like My Sweet Lord) on Rutland Weekend Television by George Harrison:

I’ll See You in My Dreams by Joe Brown:

River Song by Dennis Wilson (of Beach Boys’ fame):

Carmensita by the eccentric Mr Devendra Banhart:

Enjoy!

Networking Art

There once was a little boy called Czesław Mozil who had to leave his home town in Poland at the age of five and make life anew in the distant Kingdom of Denmark. Now, many years on Czesław Mozil has become Czesław Śpiewa (Czesław ‘sings’). He lives in Copenhagen, owns his own bar/pub and has become something of a star in Denmark.

Phoenix from the Flames

His story is one of linguistic and cultural rebirth. Czesław is Danish (by all accounts) and was brought up in the land of the Danes, however, there is and always was something peculiar about him. He was (kind of) Polish.

Polish Influence

His (re-)aquantaince with the language and culture of his fore-fathers has imbued his music with an odd form of nostalgia packaged in a shiny wrapping. Apparently, Czesław was talked into singing in Polish by his good friend who saw in Polish a great source of inspiration for him. His music is heavily inspired by all manner of Polish folk music, Polish rock and one can even hear similarities to alternative Rock (such as Kazik Staszewski). But what makes his music so fascinating is the real ‘oddness’ about it. The album Debiut is both very Polish in its feel and very un-Polish, Danish perhaps.

Polish Language

What some (Polish) people may find ‘cute’, ‘quaint’ or just simply interesting is Czesław’s accent. He sings with a Danish accent. His Polish is soft, typcal of much of the post-war second generation Polonia (like my peers) who soften many Polish consonantal sounds. However, the fact that Czesław does use Polish is testament to his love of his motherland and should also be respected. It takes great courage for someone not only to speak but to sing in a language that is not quite as strong as your first. Hats off to Czesław.

Social Networking

The biggest surprise of Czesław’s album entitled Debiut is the fact that all the lyrics were written by the online community and overseen by Michał Zabłocki. This is social networking at its greatest. The poetry was written line-by-line by a variety of online poets on Multipoezja. This means that one online poet would get the ball rolling with the title and it would be followed up, Chinese Whispers-style, by another poet. This meant that any one song lyric or poem has at least fifteen to twenty authors. The result is tongue-in-cheek poetry that makes for wonderful song lyrics.

Polonia Fights Back

Perhaps the future of the Polish ex-pat community may be similar to that of Czesław Mozil aka Śpiewa. Influenced by their time in the west, they may return to Poland with new ideas, a new culture and re-inspire the ‘scene’ in Poland. However, they may do the opposite, like Czesław. They may take the best of Polish culture and re-invigorate their local English, Irish, German or French cultures and arts with their own brand of creativity. Vive la différence!

Czesław’s MySpace site: Czesław Śpiewa.

Music for the Masses

My thanks to Wirtualna Polska for inspiring me to do this post. As some of you may know I have a pechant for terrible tunes. Herein I present a list of some of the world’s worst album covers:

Mr Methane – rectal mahem!

The Gleason Family -what a family!

Tarzan & Banarne – loving bananas…

Dayton Allen – going for it…

The Sergo Brothers – Naomi loves Jesus

The Royals – kingly costumes…

The Mighty Accordian Band – it can be done!

Glass Prism – haunting Raven…

The Christian Crusaders – here to save the world!

Richard & Willie – politically correct…

Jim Post – a moustache to be proud of…

Eilerts Jul – Xmas frollicks…

Jose Angel – check out the shoes…

Shuhplatter – dancing divas…

Nev Nicholls – trucking genius!

God Bless the Funkski

The world is changing. Poland has got funk!

I’ve been watching the slow growth of funk in Poland ‘from the inside’ for a few years now. It’s safe to say that the emergence of funk is a relatively new phenomenon in Poland. Some may argue that funk had, to some extent, filtered into Polish society in the ’70s and ’80s but never with the same vigour as in recent years.

I’d say that funk really made it’s mark in Poland around five or six years ago, a few years after I arrived in Łódź. I was lucky enough to meet, get to know and party with those whom I believe helped make funk a tantalisingly grooving success for Poland’s young grooving masses. I even had the pleasure of playing a few gigs with them but my ‘set’ was always more of an eclectic mix which although based on funk also incorporated a variety of anti-funk cheesy tunes and odd J-pop ditties.

I noticed a marked increase in the popularity of funk thanks to the mighty musical warriors of Soul Power in the guise of The Bridge, Pom, Captain Sparky and Maceo Wyro who first hit the Polish scene playing their mix of afro-funk, nu-funk with a great big slice of comedy. Those were outrageous gigs full of heaving crowds, laughter and a lots of phat, churning grooves. Unfortunately, Soul Power only lasted a short time and spawned other related projects which got other Polish DJs involved in funk and ‘feel-good’ music.

However, the importance of the release of Polish Funk stems from the fact that it isn’t just a bunch of DJs playing Amercian, English or European funk in Poland. Polish Funk is – as the title suggests – a collection of funk from Poland, rare and interesting grooves from ’60s’ and ’70s’ communist Poland. Poland is well-known for its long list of great jazz men and women but few know that the Poles also produced some interesting little grooves way back then. This album is a testament to that.

The songs were selected and re-mastered by Soul Service, Captain Sparky, Papa Zura, Burn Reynolds and DJ Misty, without doubt some of the funniest and intelligent people I have known. The album has proved such a success that the Soul Service chaps have now released Polish Funk 2 – an album that continues in the same vein and also a Polish Funk Mix album where the two albums get the Soul Service mix treatment.

It’s always interesting when a new generation gets re-introduced to elements of its own culture that were thought lost and gone. Polish Funk has done just that.

What they’d listen to…

After reading an interesting article in the Times about Hitler’s music collection (link is here), it got me a-thinking what the world’s politicians might actually be listening to in their spare time, what secret records do they have stashed away in the attic or secret room and what musical place do they go to when all around them seems without hope or joy.

Power Rockers & Mighty Rollers
For all his pomp and pride I think Nicolas Sarkozy is quite lightweight when it comes to his musical tastes preferring bands like REO Speedwagon and The Eagles rather than the harder tunes of the proper rockers.

Angela Merkel methinks is like a banshee on fire when she gets those records a-playing and much prefers a good head bang with German rockers Muff Potter and Rammstein. Oh yes, Angie’s a good ole patriotic rocker.

Post-Punk Nonsense vs. Glam Rock Loving
Gordon Brown is quite an enigma. And Enigma is probably what he listens to along with lashings of Joy Division and a pinch of Wagner on those depressing rainy days.

Vladimir Putin, on the other, detests anything that so much as mildly smells of depression and loves to dress up, slap on a bit of make-up and dance to Queen, T-Rex and Gary Glitter.

Polish Funkers & Polka Lovers
Polish politicians are a bizarre old bunch. Lech Kaczyński is probably extremely boring in his music tastes but now again is known to pop on a Britney Spears or Avril Lavigne CD. He’s known to sometimes listen to Ultravox.

His brother Jarosław is another kettle of fish and has a passion for Rick Astley, George Michael, Abba, The Pet Shop Boys and Soft Cell. He also has a strong liking methinks for Talk Talk.

My belief is that Donald Tusk is a big lover of Kim Wilde, Sam Brown and Texas. He also has a penchant for Berlin, but tends not to mention this at dinner parties.

My guess is that Stefan Niesiołowski is an ardent fan of Frank Zappa, Mr Bungle and Czesław Niemen (during his ‘weird stage’). However, he has recently fallen in love with the first few Simply Red albums. Hu hum…

Wojciech Olejniczak is most definitely a big follower of Deep Purple, Rainbow and Whitesnake whilst enjoying a spot of Ozzy Osbourne every now and then.

Andrzej Lepper loves his soundtracks and has all the Rocky albums at home, but also enjoys his Foreigner and Bonny Tyler.

Roman Giertych is an odd one and in public tells everyone of his fondness for traditional Polish folk music but his real love is metal. His cellar holds a veritable metal-lovers treasure chest containing Sepulchre, Helloween and a few Judas Priest albums.

And finally, Jan Maria Rokita does not listen to music but enjoys wallowing in the pre-recorded sound of his own dulcet tones.

The King is Dead…

I may be late with the news but I still have to mention the fact that the Godfather of Soul, the Minister of Super Heavy Funk, one of the last great Masters of Modern Music – James Brown – has died. It’s difficult to know where to start. The man was a genius, an innovator and one of the most influential figures in popular music ever to hit the scene. His loss is a tragedy. Not because we won’t have his music anymore (his creative genius had waned during the end of his life) but because we won’t have his like anymore. James Brown the man was a walking, talking engine of energy, a bubbling cauldron of excitement.

Let’s look at the man first of all. His dancing, for example, has influenced the very greatest – Prince and Michael Jackson to name but two. His political messages must surely be seen as some of the most hard-hitting in America and have to be viewed in context. He was a heavyweight punching with the likes of Martin Luther King, Malcolm X and Muhammed Ali. The man was most certainly larger, much larger than life.

And his music? The man invented funk. He adored gospel, nurtured R&B and his breaks have been sampled in some of the most influential Hip-Hop tracks around. His chanting vocal style is said to have been pre-rap Rap. The list goes on. He is said to be the most sampled artists ever and Funky Drummer the most sampled song in the world. The man and his music quite literally changed the face of world music. He penetrated Afro-American culture, its music and its values; his music took the rhythmic, chanting style from Africa and then gave it back to the Mother Land influencing hundreds of artists across Africa.

His music was completely universal. He is revered by black artists, worshipped by rappers, adored by pop music lovers. One of the last of the great generation of music makers has left us. His death is most certainly our great, great loss.

Another Beatles album…

That’s right! The Beatles have got a new one out. Incredible since two of them are not around, but still this is The Beatles. How? Why? Well, allegedly the project started years ago when Georgie Harrison and Guy Laliberté, the head honcho of Cirque du Soleil  became firm friends. Laliberté put on his show to the music of The Beatles. The shows were spectacular and have gone round the world several times over with amazing success.

Anyway, let’s get back to the album. What’s it like? Hmm? This is difficult one. If you’re all familiar with The Beatles then you’ll know all of these songs. They came about when production maestro George Martin together with his son Giles Martin was asked to re-work the original master tapes and create a ‘spectacular soundscape’ which would be the backdrop for Cirque du Soleil’s magnificent performance. The result is, I have to say, spectacular. What the two Martins have done is take the original masters and have mixed and mashed certain songs with others so we have a continual cross-referencing of Beatles’ songs.

I found the new intro to Get Back pretty impressive. Ones that also caught my ear were the exquisite Something which seems to have more power in this mix. I’ve never been a fan of Strawberry Fields Forever but ths going-over is great. A really powerful track is Within You Without You/Tomorrow Never Knows with Ringo’s drums at their very best (yes, I know how that sounds, but this track is truly brilliant). My all-time Beatles favourite Hear Come the Sun gets a new ‘mystic’ intro and sounds good. The other track that stands out is George’s While My Guitar Gently Sleeps which has a new string arrangment by George Martin (the only new piece of music on the album).

There are bits and bobs which don’t quite fit, for example, the mix of Ringo’s Good Night and Octopus’s Garden. All in all I think it’s a pretty good exercise in mixing and musical production. I must say the album did give me a lift and brought a smile to my face. However, it is only an exercise in production. Nothing more. But, as we all know many things that seem very artificial and nonsensical on paper are different in the listening. I was actually really surprised at how good it was. Yup, I heartily recommend it.

Where?

I keep asking the same question over and over again: where’s all the decent music gone? Where are all the great musicians of the past? I vomitted on about Justin Trouser-snake the other day, but if the truth be known, there are no truly fantastic musicians about any more. Just switch on the radio and what do you get? You hear sloppy, sludgy pop with no balls, no new sound, no vitality or real energy. It’s all pre-processed artificial gunk. I mean, I do like pop, but I wish more people would risk listening to something else and more importantly I wish the media and radio stations would be more risky and risqué and try and get us listeners listening to something more challenging than Paris Hilton and Kylie Minogue (as beautiful as they both are). Moan, moan, moan…

Justin Trouser-snake

Much to my utter surprise, I have to say that the latest album – Futuresex/Lovesounds – by Justin Timberlake is a pleasant surprise. Modern electro backdrops with sprinkings of twangy bass and the odd funky beat. His voice work well with all the necessary production there where it should be. I usually abhor any sort of production but in today’s modern music industry the more production, the better. A real bugger. Music should be raw with as little production as possible. Anyway, back to the Trouser-snake… gotta say that a particularly good toon is What goes around… Comes Around. Yes, it does have a cacky artificial beat, but the song smells of decent composition and the mark of someone who knows what they’re doing. Good singing, as well.