I’ve always wondered what makes the world go round. I am quite convinced the world is ruled by the management of KitKats, Twixes and Mars bars as well as a few other chocolates, sweets and other evil confectioneries. There is, of course, a complex plot to overturn all the government of the globes. I firmly believe Nestle, Mars, Cadbury and a few others are planning world domination through their control of the chocolate industry. A chocolate dictatorship. Very clever, but quite scary nonetheless. I became privy to this evil plot when I discovered – on a school exchange to Osnabruck – that Twixes are not called Twixes in Germany but Raiders! What an outrage. Apparently, when they changed the name to Twix in the 90s there was an absolute outrage in Deutschland.
I suppose the same can be said for when they changed Marathon to Snickers in England sometime in 1990. This is all a plot to mess with our minds and confuse us all. I think that the large chocolate companies are undertaking mind control through social engineering via a sophisticated method of weaning us off the tasty and healthy foods and then coax us into munching different kind of chocolate bars. For example, the second best-selling bar in the world – KitKat has a devious plan to turn us all into Americans by producing a long list of limited edition varieties. A peanut butter version of the famous bar has been released. And we all know what Americans love the most! I could mention more, but it hurts – milkshake flavour and strawberry flavour are two that come to mind. I also recall that KitKats originally came in two-finger and four-finger ‘sizes’. Much to my horror, they now make them in three-finger sizes in Poland. I believe they do the same in Saudi. This is a plan to cause chaos in these nations – it’s obvious that even-numbered biscuits create a more ordered society. Has anyone heard of three-fingered KitKats being sold in civilised countries? Exactly! I have also heard that they sell/sold them in twelve-finger (!) packs in France. Very cunning, very cunning.