A New Federation

Kashubia & Silesia
Kashubia & Silesia

The year is 2108 and the European Federation (EF) is successfully implementing its regional autonomy policy, the aim of which is to decentralise power and “hand it back” to the people. The EF has pinpointed several regions which have been earmarked for “independence” allowing for the complete “dismantling of imperial and hegemonic power to make way for a new European freedom and era of local awareness”. EF President Hans-Lukas Tantalum also announced on the 11th November that two more autonomous regions are to be established in the Central Zone of the EF, namely Kashubia and Silesia.

Lechosław’s Last Stand
Many in the Region of Greater Poland have been dismayed to hear that the EF plans to carve up their historical territory with the head of state, Polish Commissioner Lechosław Kiszański, making an embittered plea in the Federation capital Brussels: “We helped forge the Federation, it was with the minds and hearts of Greater Poland that the Federation was able to become the power that it now is. Without the Region of Greater Poland, the Federation would never have secured the new regions of Greater Ukraine and Greater Turkey. We implore you to consider again this attack on our resources and people”.

Surprising Support
Few believe that Commissioner Kiszański’s words will do anything to change the minds of MEPs, although in a surprising turn of events last week, the Commissioners of Bavaria, the Helvetian Pact and Greater Austria all made declarations in support of Greater Poland, perhaps in a pre-emptive strike against the partitioning of their regions. However, the Commissioners of Rhine-Waal, Jutland-Schleswig and the Alps-Mediterranean Region have been vocal in their support of President Tantalum’s policy of increasing autonomy. Greater Poland’s fate seems to have been decided.

New Regions – New Chance
According to President Tantalum, the new Region of Kashubia will give greater linguistic freedom to a large community that has for centuries been downtrodden and disrespected. “The EF is the guarantor of individual freedom and collective consciousness,” Tantalum added. Silesia, on the other hand, has always vied for independence and the new Region of Silesia, which also takes large bites out of the Greater Czech Region and Saxony Region (much to the disappointment also of these two regions), will “provide a platform for increased autonomy and local consciousness,” Tantalum announced.

Greater Poland, 2108
Greater Poland, 2108

Body Blow
Commissioner Kiszański, however, will not give up and has already been shoring up support in various quarters. The afore-mentioned Regions of Bavaria, the Helvetian Pact, Greater Austria, Greater Czech and Saxony are all giving full support to Greater Poland with possible declarations of support also coming from the Regions of the Black Sea, Trans-Carpathia and, surprisingly, Wales. Should Greater Poland create enough unrest to block the Federation Parliament in its seemingly inevitable decision to create these two new regions, it will be the most serious parliamentary stalemate since the constitutional crisis of 2079.


6 thoughts on “A New Federation

  1. Cute. 😉 And what about Bialostoczczyzna and the Podhale? They’d make little federostates with Belarus and Ukraine, wouldn’t they? And maybe we’d ‘lose’ Suwalszczyzna to Lithuania too. 😉 And if there had been enough immigration in the meantime (one hears of eastern German towns, devastated by the loss of state employers, being repopulated by Poles – shdn’t you & I go and check them out again sometime? What’s Bautzen like now, d’ya think?), we might lose today’s zachodnio-pomorskie as well. What price a rump-state ‘Greater Mazovy’ being the only remnant of Poland in 2108? 😀

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